FOR ALL THOSE IN THEIR SEVENTH DECADE

We Are The Survivors

We were born before penicillin, frozen foods, contact lenses, videos, televisions, frisbees, freebies and the pill. We lived before radar, credit cards, split atoms, laser beams and ballpoint pens. Before dishwashers, tumble dryers, electric blankets, air conditioning, drip-dry clothes, and before man walked on the moon.

We got married first and then lived together - how quaint can you be? We thought a Big Mac was an oversized raincoat. We existed before house-husbands, computer dating, dual careers, when a meaningful relationship meant getting along with your cousins and sheltered accommodation was where we waited for a bus.

We were here before day centres, group homes and disposable nappies. We had not heard of FM radio, tape decks, electric typewriters, word processors, artificial hearts, or men wearing ear-rings. For us, time-sharing meant togetherness, a chip was a piece of wood or a fried potato, hardware meant nuts and bolts and software was not a word.

'Made in Japan' meant junk, a stud was something that fastened a collar to a shirt and going all the way meant staying on a bus until it reached the terminus. Pizzas, McDonald's and instant coffee were unheard of. Cigarette smoking was fashionable, grass was mown, coke was kept in the coal house, a joint was a piece of meat you had on Sundays and pot was something you cooked it in. Rock music was grandmother's lullaby and a gay person was the life and soul of the party.

There were four grades of toilet paper - The Radio Times, Daily Despatch, Daily Herald and the local paper. A money-box was called a penny gas meter. People had a wash-tub outside the home and ate their meals inside the home. Transportable lightweight baths could be used in any room of the home.

The porn scene was a pawn shop, a handkerchief was a coat sleeve. Footwear was constructed of leather, iron and wood. A disc jockey was the national hunt rider with a back injury. The recycling unit was known as the rag and bone man. An alarm was known as the knocker-up man and NHS was known as the doctor's bill (6d a week). Debt and illegitimacy were secret. McDonald only had a farm, Central heating was an oven plate or a firebrick wrapped in a blanket. A duvet was your Dad's overcoat. A kitchen unit was known as a slop stone. The Top Ten used to be the Ten Commandments.

We, who were born before 1945, must be a hardy bunch when you think of the way in which the world has changed and the adjustments we have had to make. No wonder we are so confused and there is a generation gap.

But we have survived!

(Margaret found this piece in the laundry of a campsite in Port Augusta, South Australia, last year. She thought that it fitted at least one of us!)