FINDING A MOTORHOME

Ian Shires
October 2009

Yorkshireman Ian Shires, currently living in Budapest, uses his native intellect, scepticism and wit to explore the jungle of Motorhome sales pitches, on and off the web. How do you find the right motorhome for you?

We do not have a motorhome. That's a brave statement to make on this website, don't you think? But Judit and I are looking for one.

We've been camping in strange parts of Europe and seen a bewildering selection of MHs (MH is what they say in the magazines!). Some were very small; even smaller than my Land Rover.

Others were gigantic. One pulled up next to us in a coastal lay-by in Greece and I thought the circus had arrived, but it provided wonderful shade.

So which type of MH should we look for? During our many years with the Land Rover we have become accustomed to using the back roads and searching out little villages with no facilities. It would be nice to do something similar in the MH. That means it should not be too wide or too long.

We want to live in the beast for a long time. It will not be used for just one week in Mablethorpe, however nice that may be. That's when the decision making gets tricky. If I was in the MH for a long time I would get really fed up with making the bed every day. So it must have fixed beds.

Then there is the problem of storage. For one week in Mablethorpe you can leave the barbecue/laptop/books/etc. at home. But I want to eat well on the road. I want to use my computer and read a book. Where will I put them?

The so-called garage seemed a good idea. I've even seen people putting motorbikes in them! But some of the garages we've seen look more like letter boxes.

Do we want a luxury MH? Well, after roaming around in a 20 year old Defender I think anything would be luxury; so not really. As long as everything works when it is supposed to I'll be happy.

Originally we thought that a “van type” of vehicle would be best for us. To the three people in the whole world who don't know, a “van” is what I would call a “long-wheelbase Transit”. The use of the word “van” is important as you will read later.

A couple of weeks ago we went to a small exhibition run by a Hungarian MH rental company. They persuaded us that for a similar amount of money a “Low Profile” MH would be better than a converted van. They assured me it would be only a little bit bigger, would have better storage and better insulation.

Now we are getting close... a medium sized Low-Profile with single beds over a garage. We started surfing the web immediately. That's when the fun started.

Note the way my thinking developed. I did not decide on a rosewood cupboard door, or sliding wash basin stands. Nor was I interested in “side walls in white smooth aluminium with extra colours available for an extra charge.” I wasn't interested in an electrical charger for both starter and leisure batteries or even a multi-functional on-board control panel.

Motorhome manufacturers do not seem interested in providing the information you need. And when they do it's not even clear information.

For example, at the recent exhibition we saw a Chausson MH. It seemed a good idea to start searching the Chausson site, despite an adventure with a piece of plastic trim on the gigantic refrigerator. Being just next to the door it was a handy aid in getting up and down the steps. However, the plastic trim managed to tear a hole in my finger. Not a good start for Chausson.

But I persisted and started looking on the internet. The first screen to greet me on Chausson's site was a map to force me to choose my country. I chose Hungary. But I did not find a Hungarian dealer, nor did I see a picture of a motorhome. Just a list of names in small type. The headings were Van, Luton or Low-liner. The website was a strange mixture of French, German and English that did not inspire confidence. And “Luton”. How did that get there?

I eventually guessed that I wanted a Low-liner called Flash 08. It gave me some basic info, but no image of the interior. I had to go searching for it. At least the basic info was useful. Length, width and height and a strange abbreviation “PTAC”. You work it out, I can't.

I decided that a catalogue would be more useful so I clicked on “katalog”. The cheeky beggars wanted me to fill in a form just to download a pdf catalogue. Not wishing to be pestered for the rest of my life, I decided not to bother. Take a note, Mr Chausson, you are frightening people away.

However, in the interest of science and this article, I filled in the form with fantasy data. Amazingly it worked. If you are called Herbert Cleckheckmonsidge, living in Brussels with a Danish email address I apologise!

The so called katalog was a pdf file. That's perfect. Well it would be if Mr Chausson had not scanned a paper “katalog” and made that into a pdf. If Chausson don't know how to make a proper pdf, do they know how to make motorhomes?

The katalog was crammed with photos but it was not clear which photo referred to which motorhome. Based upon the efforts of Mr Chausson, I think they can keep their motorhomes.

Next I looked at Adria. The site, when eventually found, was quite good and I soon found that the Compact SL was probably what we were looking for. With just the two of us, we did not fancy a drag inducing lump sticking up at the front. In addition you can bang your head on the damned bed... oh yes you can. If it is possible, it will happen... it did.

The brochures were fine except that the designers had included a pdf intended for printing, complete with colour bars and crop marks. Come on Adria, it's just a few mouse clicks to correct that mistake. Overall we were quite impressed with the Adria website and brochures. Better still, they are just down the road from Hungary (in Slovenia). Do you think they will make us an offer we can't refuse?

Autocruise probably had the best website. It was easy to navigate around and gave all the basic data a new motorhome needs... even prices. Why is everyone else afraid of telling me the price?

Burstner had a very good site with lots of information at hand. But they were a bit over the top with their descriptions:

“With a flick of the wrist, the ceiling over the seats lowers to reveal the extra bed – an electronic option is also available.”
“Ooh er, missus” as the Carry On team would say.

Another major confusion on MH websites is the name for different types of vehicles. For example Hymer call the Transit type of MH a “car”. Hymer, Hobby and Burstner call an integrated lowline a “van”. Then Hymer have a motorhome that is a lowline model called a Van and Tramp as well. I always thought a tramp was a poor guy who slept rough, yet the Hymer Tramp appears to be a gin palace on wheels.

The Hobby web site is a bit confusing. If you click on the menu to see the Hobby Van Exclusive, up come lots of pictures of motorhomes. Except they are not Hobby vans. You have to download the brochure to see a photo of the “van” you are after. Strange thinking from the Hobby Marketing Department. Of course the brochure shows the workmen and the factory. Wonderful ! And a section entitled “Arguments” which is the last thing I want.

The brochure is very smart but it is packed with photos of the inside of fridges, light switches, beds and so on. You must wade through to page 30, yes thirty, before you see a motorhome. Then there is a tiny layout and information for L, B, and G. I guess L and B are length and breadth and I can see that G is something to do with kg. Where is the height?

The model I fancied was a “Hobby Van Exclusive TL 500 GESC”... I think.
I only think because the interior photo said “Hobby Van Exclusive DL 500 GESC”.

Please give them easy names, Mister Hobby. How about the Hobby Low-Line Compact or the Hobby Low-Line Spacious. Come on, get your act together and think about what the customer needs.

The Swift website takes some beating for confusion. Click on the word “Motorhome” and you find Swift, Bessacar, Mondial and Escape. Swift is further subdivided into Sundance, Bolero, Voyager and Kon-Tiki. The Sundance is then subdivided into 530LP, 580PR, 590RL, 590RS, 630G and 630L. Some of these are High-line and some Low-line.

Are you lost? I was and I gave up looking after 10 minutes. Sorry Mr Swift, but your Marketing Department needs a rocket up its multi-jet direct injection common rail turbo...

We are also a little wary of the praises people are heaping on the AL-KO chassis. I eventually worked out that this is a much lower chassis than normal. Will such a low chassis be OK on the rough roads of Eastern Europe? Or even in a bumpy campsite? No-one seems to know.

General comments. The marketing people seem to think that a picture of their workmen and the factory is interesting... it is not. I am an advertising man and in the UK advertising people have a little poem:

If the client moans and sighs
Show his logo twice the size.
If he still remains refractory
Show a picture of his factory,
And only in the direst case
Show a picture of his face.

Basic information is needed quickly and in one place. Dimensions, layout, external photo, couple of internal photos. Give me the guff about swivel cassette toilets later. I'm not planning to spend a long time in there anyway.

Don't hassle me demanding all my details. Let me download a correct format pdf file. Put the name of the MH on the pictures.

Tell me the features of the MH plus the benefits. For example:

Feature: broad gauge chassis rear axle - MEANINGLESS.
Benefit: greater stability - HELPFUL.

You see it can be done. Will any manufacturer be brave enough to ask me to design their website?
As you have read (I hope), I was looking for a Lowline under 7 metres, single beds, large garage - in that order. It has taken me two weeks of browsing to get where I am today.

I've decided on either:

Burstner       Travel Van t 620 G
Adria            Compact SL
Dethleff        Advantage T6611
Hobby          Van Exclusive TL 500 GESC
Hymer          Van 562

Based upon a decent website and the clear and simple name, I think Adria could be the winner. Or do you know better?